The Library of Congress has published online 200 ballroom dance instruction manuals from 1490 to 1920. http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/dihtml/dihome.html -------------------------------------------------- All should be as much at ease in the ball-room or private party as if at home; no person can be pleased in the consciousness of being awkward--the possession of confidence, however, should be without effrontery, which, next to affectation, is the most unpleasing fault in either sex. Ease is to be admired, but carelessness and negligence are contrary to good manners. Whoever is admitted to a company of ladies and gentlemen, is supposed to be, for the time at least, on an equality with all present, and should be treated with equal respect. When a gentleman accompanies a lady to a ball, he should dance with her first, or offer to do so; and should take care that she be provided with a partner whenever she desires to dance. At private parties ladies and gentlemen should not dance exclusively with the same partners, if by so doing they exclude others from desirable company. We may, however, without impropriety ask a lady to join us the second time in a dance. We should treat all courteously; and, not manifesting preference for any one in particular, be ready to dance with whoever may need a partner. Never become involved in a dispute, if it be possible to avoid it. Give your opinions, but do not argue them. Do not contradict, and, above all, never offend by endeavoring to correct seeming inaccuracies of expression. Never lose control of temper, or openly notice a slight. Never seem to be conscious of an affront, unless it be of an unmistakably gross character. In company it is not required to defend friends, unless the conversation be personally addressed, and then any statement known to be wrong may be corrected. Do not give hints or innuendoes. Speak frankly or not at all. Nothing charms more than candor when united with good breeding. Do not speak in a loud tone, indulge in boisterous laughter, nor tell long stories. Be careful not to speak upon subjects of which you are ill-informed. Never seem to understand indelicate expressions, much less use them. Page 22 { page image viewer } Avoid slang phrases and pet words. Confess ignorance rather than pretend to know what you do not. Use good English words and not fantastic phrases. Call all things by their proper names; the vulgarity is in avoiding them. Never repeat in one company any scandal or personal history you have heard in another. Give your own opinion, if you please; but do not repeat the opinions of others. Anxiety to accommodate and to make all happy, is a distinguishing mark of a gentleman or lady. If you have in any manner given offence, do not hesitate to apologize. A gentleman on accidentally touching you, or passing before you, will ask pardon for the inconvenience he causes. Never forget that ladies are to be first cared for, to have the best seats, the places of distinction, and are entitled in all cases to your courteous protection. Do not cross a room in an anxious manner, or force your way to a lady to merely receive a bow, as by so doing you attract the attention of the company to her. If you are desirous of being noticed by any particular persons, put yourself in their way as if by accident, and do not let it be seen that you have sought them out; unless, indeed, there be something very important to communicate. When meeting friends in public, you salute them the first time, and not every time of passing. In ascending a staircase with ladies, go at their side or before them. Great care should be given to prevent the appearance of awkward bashfulness. Assume a modest confidence and all will pass smoothly. The most obvious mark of good breeding and good taste is a regard for the feelings of our companions. True courtesy is founded on generosity, which studies to promote the happiness and comfort of others. It is more winning than grace or beauty, and creates sentiments of love at first sight. When conversing with your partner, let it be done in a quiet tone, avoiding all affectation, frowning, quizzing, or the slightest indication of ill-temper, and, particularly, criticising the dress or appearance of others. While dancing, a lady should consider herself engaged to her partner, and therefore not at liberty to hold a flirtation, between the figures, with another gentleman; and should recollect that it is the gentleman's part to lead her, and hers to follow his directions. Pay strict attention to the dance, but not so marked as to appear as if that attention were necessary to prevent a mistake. At a private ball or party, a lady should not manifest preference for a particular partner, but should dance with any gentleman who properly asks her company. At a public ball, if a gentleman, without a proper introduction, ask a lady to dance, she should positively refuse. When a gentleman, having been properly introduced, requests the honor of dancing with a lady, she should not refuse without explaining her reason for so doing. On no account should a lady parade a ball-room alone, nor should she enter it unaccompanied.